Sunday, May 8, 2016

Today is Mother's Day

My motherhood journey began over five years ago.  It began in a way that I never knew was possible and in a way that I was not on board with.  I became a mother in December of 2010, when I found out that we were 10 weeks pregnant with our first child.  Things quickly changed from hopes and dreams and preparing for a little one, to learning how to grieve and begin to heal at the loss of our daughter at 17 weeks.

As quickly as we found out we were pregnant, as quickly as I became a mother, we found out that our daughter was going to heaven and we were going home with empty arms and a void in our hearts.  That first Mother's Day in 2011 was one that tore me to pieces, inside and out.  We kept it simple.  Raun and I got coffees from my favorite coffee shop and we walked along the river on a beautiful, warm, sunny day. We sat, quietly reflected, talked, and reconnected.

Two years later, 2013, I found myself with a one month old in my arms and many mixed feelings.  Filled with so many emotions, so many questions, and so many ways to answer.  Happy First Mother's Day, came from many people...though it wasn't my first and it was from people who knew our journey.  Oh, is this your first?  Was another question asked by many.  How does one answer this question.  For me, this was and still is, very much a loaded question.  How far into do you go?

Three years later, I am celebrating Mother's Day with two active boys (a three year old and a six month old) and our angel daughter.  It's still an odd day for me to be honest.  Moms (and dads too) put so much into their families and children, that while it's nice to have a specific day of appreciation, the appreciation should go year round.  Sometimes, it's on the hardest days, that we need it the most.

So go on, celebrate the joy of all moms in your life.  But remember, the day means something different to everyone and that today is not the only day to show our love and appreciation for those important people in our lives.  Continue the blessing and let them know often.