Friday, July 8, 2016

Fourth of July

 We recently celebrated the Fourth of July.  Usually we've haven't done much of anything, other than maybe catch the fireworks.  Some years we've gone camping or gone to the lake to spend time with family.  If we get out of town for the weekend, it was to do something we enjoyed while getting away from the crazy amount of fireworks that people set off in our neighborhood at all hours of the day, all weekend, for hours on end.

Once we had kids, their schedules became the dictating factor of what we would do, if anything.  And sometimes, it just meant going somewhere else for the weekend so that we could all still get some decent sleep.  This year, we decided to do a little more.

We found a parade that was in the morning, which for us really works better and is the time of day when we can more freely do things.  I've never been to a Fourth of July parade...I've been in them, but never watched one.  The parade we saw was one of the best ones I have seen.

T had so much fun watching it too.  A enjoyed it as well, when he was awake (yes, he was able to nap through some of it).  The look of awe and joy on my sons' faces were priceless.  The picture above is my oldest from when he saw four old time prop planes fly overhead. 

I took a handful of photos while we waited for things to start.  But what got me, was watching my kids and hubby.  Seeing them share in such a fun morning together.  My oldest and I danced to songs, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't really care if people looked at me funny.  We had fun!

I let go, let my guard down and just went with it.  I felt a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders.

On the way home, my oldest reached across the van for his brother's hand and held it.  It was the perfect way to wrap up our adventure.  Despite the tantrums, the lack of listening sometimes, the high emotions, he shows a tremendous amount of love for those he cares about in his life.
The time around the fourth stirs up a lot of emotions and thoughts inside me.  You see, July 5 was Samantha's expected due date.  It's a day I am not sure what to do with now.  She came January 27 instead.  In fact, none of my kids arrived on their due date.  However, Samantha we held only for a brief moment.  But my sons, we still get to hold.  I rock with my oldest at night before he goes to bed.  And my youngest, as well as I feed him before he drifts off to sleep.

 This year, what struck me hard, was the feeling of gratitude.  While we don't know for certain, we are leaning most likely to being done growing our family.  That's a tough one to swallow some days.  But in my heart, I looked at what I had in front of me that day and I felt blessed.  Blessed to have my kids, my husband.  What I have, right now, is what I need and it feels complete.

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