Thursday, July 28, 2016

The Mom Tribe

When I say mom tribe what do you think of?  For me, it is the other mom's in my life that help support, encourage, love my kids just as much as I do, are true friends of mine and their kids are true friends of my kids.  It's the people that we see regularly, it's the people who even when we go weeks in between seeing one another still check in.  We think about one another, care about one another.
Moms, and dads as well, need to have that core group of people.  The group of people they can be considered a part of their tribe.  In fact, in all ages and stages, all areas of life from work to home, we need to have some sort of tribe.

The reason is they are there when you need them, they are there to push you to be a better person, they keep you on track and call you out on it when you are off.  You need to surround yourself with those who bring you up, not bring you down.

Sure, we all judge.  Some of us more than others, and sometimes more often than we would like to admit.  But what we forget is there is always a back story to what we see in front of us.  Having others who know us well keeps us accountable. 

There are many stages in life.  Sometimes we pass through one into the next effortless, kind of like a butterfly floating on a gentle breeze.  Other times we pass through them like a turkey trying to fly.  And yet other times, more like a loon where it may take us a bit, we will make a lot of noise, but once we get it we've got it.

Going into motherhood is one of those times where we fall into all of them at one point or another.  We think one day, yeah I've got this.  Then the next day, we look like the witch decoration you see at Halloween that went splat into a tree or the door.  Add more kids into the mix and you become a yo yo. 

It is vitally important to get to know other moms.  With time, you will find the ones you are supposed to be with.  The ones that let you know you aren't alone, the ones you can send a message to of encouragement, the ones that can read how things are going a mile away when they see you, the ones who will laugh and cry with you, the ones who will make you smile and give you a hug.  They don't care if your house looks like a tornado went through.  They don't care if your hair is a mess, clothes are stained, or you didn't put make up on. The ones who just plain get you.

Every now and then I start looking at adding a new activity into my life, one that involves moms and kids.  Most recently, I started to look at baby boot camp.  My thought, I can get in some more exercise, meet more moms, and give my kids something to do...and hope it all goes smoothly and my kids enjoy it as well.  Then, I began to think more about why I should do it.  When it came down to it my thought was this.  I would be dragging both my kids to something I wanted to do.  What benefit was there for them?  They would be strapped in a stroller for the entire hour.  Not worth the time, money, and rush to get out the door in the morning.

As I dug deeper, I was beginning to think that I should have a bigger mom tribe.  More mom friends.  But why?  I am really good where I am at.  Not to say that I wouldn't add more friends.  But if I did, I would want them to be the kind of friend who is a true friend.  I don't need to surround myself with a lot of people to just to make it through life.  I need to surround myself with quality. 

It's not about the number of friends you have, it's about the quality of friends you have.  Having three great friends who really understand you and your kids can go a long way and be better than having thirty friends who are more like acquaintances than true friends.  Sure, I suppose you could have a large amount friends, but think about many of them really truly know you? the real you? your family? would be there for you at 2 in the morning when all hell breaks loose? would actually take your kid for an hour or two just so you can take a nap?

Think about it.  Who is in your tribe?  I know who is in mine and I am blessed to have each one of them in my life.

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