Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Bond Between a Mother and Her Children


There is a bond that begins to form between a mother and her child from the moment she finds out that she is pregnant.  For some, this bond grows and despite all the fears and nerves, it forms from the beginning.  For some, it takes time to form and grow.  Each person is different, each pregnancy is different, each child is different.  The bond grows, changes, strengthens, and falls apart sometimes.  But it is still there.

After having T, our bond grew tighter and stronger easily each day.  I will admit, it is a bond that there are days now that I wish was still the same way it was last Summer.  But things have changed in our lives.  He is dealing with having a brother, wanting to be more independent, and having to share me. The strong bond that I had with T did break down some as he and I navigated all this new territory.  However, it continues to grow and change as we grow and change. 

Now, I have to admit, the hard truth.  I love A, with all my heart, but our bond has taken much longer to grow strong and tighter.  You see, with the addition of another child, I became split.  I was learning how to be a mom to two kiddos.  Some days I did a better job at maintaining a balance between them  Other days, not so much.

With the addition of A, my bond with T changed.  I wanted so hard and tried so hard, to keep things the way they were.  But the reality of it was that our lives had changed.  With change, bonds change.  In the long run, they end up growing much deeper.  But they need the time to figure out a new normal.

Ten months in, A and I have grown a strong bond.  My bond with T, has deepened and become more like it was. As we move forward, as we grow, things will continue to change.  Once we accept that and accept where we are at in the moment, things seem to balance out.

It takes time.  Time we need to invest.  Not only that, we need to let others have the time to invest and to bond with our children.  Let your children grow, change, but also let the bond deepen and strengthen as you move forward.