Thursday, April 20, 2017

Judgement and Being a Parent


Yup, there I said it, judgement.  Why is it that when we become parents we suddenly becoming highly critical of others, their ability, and how they parent?  We judge each other.  We try hard not to and we even say we don't, but there is still that twinge tugging at us about how they do it verses how we do it.  Could it be jealousy? Could it be guilt? Could it be that we are critical of others because deep down its similar to our own faults and failures? Could it be fear?

Yes, yes it could be any or all of those.  I am not innocent of being judgmental.  Over the past year and a half I have gotten better with it.  If I find myself rolling in that snowball, that just seems to grow into a ginormous ball loosing control, I try my hardest to get off before it catapults into something making a big mess.  It doesn't do any of us any good and we all need to find others who can support us while we support them.  But it is so easy to get caught up in that snowball.

I often wonder, if I am being so critical of something, what is it about me that is the problem?  Chances are it's something inside of me, causing me to act out in that way.  More often than not, its my own insecurities, failure, and guilt that are to blame.  So really, who are we judging?  We are judging ourselves and being critical of ourselves.

Parenting isn't easy.  If it was there would be a handbook and guidelines that were all the same, easy to follow, and we would all do.  But its not. So let's do our best to raise great kids who become great adults (as said by Andy Andrews) and look deeper into ourselves to figure out what we need to change instead of using it to judge others.