Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Forgiveness & Grace ~ Apologizing to Your Kids


For the longest time, when we work through apologies with our kids we try to work through them in the following way:
  • Say I am sorry and sorry for what
  • How can I fix it?
  • Do you forgive me
I have come to realize as well, that this is something I need to do as well.  So when I err, let my frustration or impatience get the better of me, have to change plans quickly I offer my apologize.  It isn't always easy, especially to admit we were wrong.  But even as parents, as adults, we too make mistakes and sometimes we need to apologize.

Last night was one those moments.

Last night, I was tired.  I have not being sleeping well again.  When I don't have restful sleep often enough, my patience is less and my frustration goes up more quickly.  I was tired and by the end of the day, after my kids were in bed, my patience was gone.

So when my oldest came out of his room, after being tucked in and told goodnight to, for the third time I was a bit irritated.  Why?  Not because he came out, but because he decided at that moment he was incapable of closing his bedroom door after having gone to the bathroom.  He battled me on it, begged me, told me he couldn't do it, but he wanted me to do it, but he didn't want to all from the top of the stairs which are right under his brother's room.

I lost what little patience I had mustered and I yelled.  Yes, I yelled.  I don't yell often, but it does happen.  I don't like it and neither does anyone else around me at the time. 

I told him that I was not going to close his door for him because he was perfectly capable of doing it himself.  He told me yes.  After the back and forth I told him to go to bed and if he didn't want to close the door himself it would just stay open for the night.  I was not going to close it.  After a bit more I yelled, he stomped back to his room and closed his door (nicely surprisingly).

Fortunately my youngest remained asleep during this whole time.

As I sat on the couch, letting things go and letting calm in, I knew what I had to do.  I had to apologize and ask for forgiveness.  I knew he wasn't asleep yet (I could hear him playing with stuffies in his room).  So I took a deep breathe, went in, and chatted with him.

I chatted with him like it was no big deal.  I apologized and told him why I yelled, that it wasn't the right thing.  Before I got to asking for forgiveness, he looked at me with a smile and said "I forgive you mom".  Laid down and said goodnight.

I was in awe of how much grace this 5 year old had just given me.  We had the conversation with such ease. 

Apologize and ask for forgiveness.  Such a little thing, but can make a huge difference in the way things go.