Thursday, July 12, 2018

Saying Yes to You ~It's Hard Sometimes, But Worth It


Recently I wrote about taking time for one of the pieces in your life's puzzle, your marriage.  Another piece I made mention of is the piece that is you.  Remember, it started as you.  Then got married.  Then grew your family.

Sometimes in the mix of all that, well, we sometimes loose sight of who we are and taking care of ourselves gets placed on the back burner while we take of the others around us and the other responsibilities we have. 

You need to take care of you.  Yup, you heard me.  You need to take care of you.  It is an important piece to the puzzle.  You can't fuel others up and fill them up without taking time to fuel you and fill yourself up.

How many times do we make excuses to set us aside?  I don't have the time, our schedules are always busy, no one to watch the kids, and so on.

Did you know you can still take care of yourself even if the kids are around?  You can say yes to you, the things you enjoy.  Of course it is easier to do sometimes when you are alone.  But think about it.  During the day, where are times you can say yes to you and your time that is needed?

It doesn't have to be long.  Sometimes 5 minutes is all it takes.  It may mean that you have to put the remote down, the social media down, the online games down.  I know, it's easy, accessible, and just sort of becomes habit.  I have been known to zone out to a couple hours at nap time or in the evening watching NCIS reruns. 

While yes, this is nice sometimes, aren't there other things that you enjoy?  What gives you energy?  Make a list.  And while you are at it, divide your page into two columns.  Write the things that give you energy in one and in the other, write the things that zap your energy.  I know, laundry and dishes aren't always energy boosts for most people, but there are just some things that have to get done.

I got the idea to write out the things that give me energy and the things that zap it from an Abundant Mama Project activity.  After writing my lists out, I decided to take it one step further.  I decided to find ways to decrease the amount of time on those energy zappers to the point where the task is done more quickly, I don't do it, or have changed my perspective on the activity.  As for those things that give me energy, I made the decision to set a time in the week for them.

I also listed out the chores while I was at it, because for me, while they don't give me energy, they also don't zap it either.  But gone left undone for too long can cause issues in itself.

I put all into a schedule.  I took the things that give me energy and put something to each day of the week, at least Monday through Friday.  I figure I would leave the weekends open and see where they lead.  The chores, I did the same thing.  I broke them out and gave them a schedule for a day during the week.

By doing this, it helps me fuel up and fill my tank each day.  It also has helped cleaning and chores to get done weekly, but not feel like a struggle.  Though I do laundry on the weekend, I try to have it washed early in the week and pick a night or nap time while watching TV to fold it.  Now, I have to admit, the kids stuff gets put away rather quickly, however I have a tendency to leave the basket full of my own and hubby's stuff in our room.  At least it is clean, out of the basement, folded.

None of this is a fool proof method.  There are some days where I just set it all aside and zone out to TV and social media during my downtime.  There are also some days where I try to incorporate what fuels me into the activities we are doing as a family or the activities I am doing with kids.  Added bonus, both my kids love to just sit and color.  Both also love to be outside.  A lot of times they want to create their own world, which means I get some time to do my own thing.  So either I join in or I do a chore that needs to be done or I find some way I can yes to me during that time.  Even if it means a few sips from the now cold coffee that I have given up on trying to reheat and drop a few ice cubes in it to make it an iced coffee.

Saying yes to you can be an activity that has a cost, like a coffee shop stop, purchasing something you've wanted, or pedicure type things or it can just simply be sitting on the porch while the kids play happily and you do your own thing.  It doesn't always have to come with a price tag. 

For now: reading, being outside, creative time, writing, exercising are a few things that fuel me.  So those are the things I try to incorporate each day of the week.  Not necessarily all of them every day, but they all get added into my week.

Since doing this I have noticed a lot of things.  I have noticed my attitude has begun to change, more positive.  I, most nights, sleep better.  I feel more connected, more grounded.  My perspective has shifted, I get to have me time (even with kids in tow).

How about you?  What brings you energy?  What drains it?  How can you find time for yourself each day, even if it is only 5 minutes (down the road, try to add more time on to it)?  What do you do for you to take care of the you piece to the puzzle?

Take the time because you deserve it.  You are worth it.  Take the time because it will benefit everyone.  Make it a priority, even if you have to schedule it.  Down the road, it will become natural and a part of your daily flow and balance.