Thursday, September 20, 2018
Welcome Fall ~ Change is in the Air
As I sit here and dwell on this change of season, I am sipping on some pumpkin spice coffee, letting it warm me and listening to my heart.
It has been raining all week, big storms here and there, and cooler weather is beginning to settle in. The weekend was hot, humid, and definitely a last hurrah for Summer. Today, the first day of Fall, it is raining and storming, but it definitely is looking and feeling more like Fall.
It is a time of transition and time of change. It's also a time of preparing, a time of gathering in the abundance, a time of letting go.
It surely has been a transition week, not just the weather, but I can feel it in me and the happenings around me. I have taken some time this week to do some digging in and setting my focus for the season. Opening up, doing some simple clarity card work, and seeing where this season will lead.
I have been one to take dragonflies, butterflies and the like as symbols, a deeper connection. Dragonflies are my baby girl dropping in to say hi, or it's okay, or it's going to be alright, or you got this. Seeing them makes me pause, even if just to linger for a few seconds more. Butterflies, since about a year ago, have become another big one for me. They represent change for me. Whether it is a change I know about it or not, they are a heads up that either I need to change something or to be ready for a change.
Let me share two dragonfly stories with you that happened recently, one has a butterfly in it as well.
Back in the end of August I cracked a tooth. My first thought was, I am only 36 and I cracked a tooth. But then I thought on it, I was the one who tried to eat the cookie filled with m&ms and chocolate chips too soon after I took it out of the fridge. Oops...I still need to work on patience sometimes, or waiting until truly the kids won't know. Either way, I was left with a cracked tooth. From the time I got the temporary until I got the permanent, it was on my mind that what if this wasn't going to be enough of a fix. The day I went to get the permanent, I was sitting in the chair waiting and looking out the window. For a brief moment I watched a dragonfly hover nearby before it took off on the wind. I knew then, that things would be okay. And yes, I do pray, and yes I added this all to prayers as well.
Now, just at the beginning of this week I came to a stop light. While I waited I watch a dragonfly pass by the front of my car. As I watched it fly by, a butterfly flew near it in the other direction. Okay, I thought...Change is in the air, but it is going to alright. At that point I didn't have any clue as to what that change could be.
But looking back now, here is what I came up with. A reminder that life is precious, to slow down, to breathe, to take care of our bodies, to take care of our relationships, to be open, to trust, to let go.
On the way home after that experience, I was driving and without warning a car from three lanes over came shifting lanes towards me quickly. I had really nowhere to go, couldn't speed up, couldn't slow down. After the driver realized what was going on (mind you I have a mini van, this was a car...my car can't be missed), quickly moved over to their own lane and exited the direction the freeway took. As for me, I had begun to slow and pull off onto what little shoulder there was. I paused for a moment, looked around, and drove the rest of the way home (luckily I wasn't far), probably holding my breath and tense the whole time. I got home, paused, but just couldn't shake the feeling I had. I had groceries to unload, and had to help get the kids ready for nap. Hubby came out and took one look at me and asked what happened. We took a moment to just settle me and then glanced at the car, noticing just how close that car had come. I am missing some paint and there are scratches. Yup, that was close, too close. But I can look back on it with a different perspective. It's going to be alright.
I have had two unexpected doctor appointments this week. One with my doctor, and one for a mammogram/ultrasound. I couldn't quite shake that something wasn't quite right in a certain spot. The doctor agreed, something off, but what. My mammogram and ultrasound both came back normal. So what next? I have this tubular spot that doesn't feel right, but also hurts sometimes. I am waiting to hear back from the doctor which way to head. Lots of praying, lots of patience, and still some waiting. But at least for now, I can rest on the it isn't anything abnormal and all looks good.
Like I said, life is about change and transition. That is where we are at, where I am at. There is always some amount of uncertainty. But there is also something to just being open to the change.
Sometimes, it is an easy, happy time. Sometimes it is hard, brings sadness or grief. Either way, it can be scary.
My hubby started a business and it is to a point where big decisions need to be made on it. But it involves change, uncertainty, and a whole lot of trust and letting go. Does this scare us? Most definitely. Have we answered all the decisions? Not yet, but we are working through them.
We have our home school plan and schedule set up. It's still new to us, but it is exciting. Giving us some new adventures to try out, but also take our learning on the go.
Fall is my favorite time of year. It is about change, letting go, starting to prepare. It's about learning and growing. It's about reflecting and digging in deep. It's about trusting and yet still dreaming.
What changes are you facing right now?