Wednesday, February 20, 2019
When It All is Too Much Sometimes - Here Come the Tears
We fall, we make mistakes, we try, we let go, get bruised and battered, we take a step, we try again.
When all around you seems to be spiraling and one day everything seems to PPPLLLLTTTTHHHHH!!! in your face.
You hold it together as long as you can.
After the mistakes, the frustration, the anger, the yelling, the temper flares, the lack listening, the negative behaviors, the constant above normal volume, plans changed, uncertainty settles in...you hold it together the best you can until nap time. But it does seep out, ooze, or just blows like the Winter wind.
The flows and you just look to God, all you can say is I am sorry and I don't have the words, I don't know what to say or do.
Right now, I didn't eat myself out of the emotions. I didn't cram them down. Right now, I gave myself the quiet my mind, body, soul have been craving.
I gave myself space. I gave myself grace. I gave myself love.
I listened. I prayed, I let myself breathe.
I released. I let go.
I changed. I changed my perspective. I let myself grow in that moment.
I learned and I hope I remember.
P B P B
Pause, Breathe, Pray, Breathe.
P B P B
Life gets tough, but we get stronger. Life throws us curves, but makes us slow down. In the midst of all the noise and chaos, things to do, the car won't start. We fail, we make mistakes, but we learn and grow.
Yesterday was humbling. But it took my oldest...he will be 6 in two months...coming to the top of the stairs, telling me he was sad and couldn't get rid of the feeling.
I took a deep breathe. Went upstairs and sat with him. All I could say in that moment was let's pray. I have never done that with my kids. In fact, we do grace at dinner time and the kids do bedtime prayers where they answer questions (how would you describe God, what are you sorry for, thankful for, who do you want God to be with, what did God help you with today, what do you want God to help you with), but when I do prayers I do them in my head in the morning before everyone is up and right before I go to bed.
I have never just sat down and said let's pray.
So we did. We prayed. We talked about all the good things from the day. We talked about how our attitude affects the day and we can choose to learn from the not so good things, let them go, and focus on the good things. Despite the day going pppllliiittthhh! at us, we can learn something and we can look for the good.
P B P B
Pause, Breathe, Pray, Breathe... Repeat.