Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Embrace the Mess - See the Beauty

Hmmm....embrace the mess?That’s a hard one to do, sometimes. Okay well maybe often hard to do. Why? Because there are so many messes around, so many different kinds of messes. So how do embrace the mess?

There are just some messes that happen and just a part of parenting. Sometimes we create them, sometimes the kids, sometimes it is a blend of everyone. But mess happens. Through the mess is learning and growing. And what we may see as mess, someone else may see something more, well, more beautiful.

Yes, we can see beauty in the messes around us! Yes, we can see beauty in the chaos!

But our minds tend to go first to what is wrong, what needs to be solved.

Instead we need to pause. Instead we need to breathe. Instead we need to look at it. Pausing and breathing give us a different lens to look through. So does taking a moment to look at it through the eyes of someone else.

What you see as mess, what you feel is chaos, could have beauty in it if we choose to look.

I will admit, I get overwhelmed by mess and yet I am good with leaving a stack of dishes by the sink for a day. The biggest mess I get overwhelmed at is kids toys. It does not take long for the family room and dining room and kitchen to look like the toy shelves threw up.

But you see, it isn’t that the kids are just dumping out a bin and moving on (we are past that stage thankfully). It is them digging into their imagination, being creative, using their pretend play, engineering something. It is them learning, growing, failing, succeeding, having fun.

So why can’t I always see beyond the mess?

Why am I okay with a pile of dishes but then get overwhelmed when the first floor of the house is inundated with toys out?

Because I was failing. I was failing to embrace it for what it was. Failing to look beyond what seemed like a mess to me. Failing to see what my kids saw. Failing to see beauty in it.

Sure, it can be frustrating to have toys strewn about, especially when kids are still learning to clean it up after or it’s in eye sight all day long. But what if let go of the control where we can? What if we set the boundary of, it gets cleaned up before bedtime and until then it can stay set out how they see it in their mind’s eye?

When we do that, when we let it go, let them go, and set up a clean up before bedtime we allow them to just do their thing and to play. And through that they grow, learn, be creative and more.

And for us? We embrace the mess, embrace the chaos and see the beauty in it.