Monday, January 13, 2020

When You Realize You Filled Yourself Over Full

I have been feeling a bit in a funk the past handful of days.  Sometimes I can place the reason why, other times it takes me time to realize it, accept it, and move forward from it.

It wasn't until I sat down this afternoon during nap that I realized just how exhausted I am.  I have not been sleeping as great, which generally means I have too much on my mind.  But add in fixing behaviors, sibling bickering, and preparing to travel just seems to take a lot of energy out of me.  I also realized today as I looked at my planner that I over did my commitments to different groups.

Why is it that at the beginning of the year, all these groups seem to pop up all at once?

If I had to guess, because it's a new year, new decade we want to make changes and like saying goes, strike while the iron is hot.  You are motivated and ready to go.  So what all do you sign up for?

When making decisions this month, or well at the end of last month, I forgot an important piece to look at.  Does this align with my priorities and why am I doing this?

In the midst of the day to day, I loaded myself up.  I loaded up to the point where I wasn't doing my best in any of it.

Beyond my day to day roles, we picked back up swim lessons and Bible Study fellowship.  Then I added in trying to get in the books I want to read, 6 (at least) different challenge groups.  Sure, some of those things only last a week.  But because I doubled, even tripled up, I let myself begin to be overwhelmed and fell from the routines and rituals I had set up.  I fell away from doing my best and instead gave up.

I realized that when I fill too full and I don't check in with God and my priorities, I fail.  I let stuff fall, I focus on the rise up of overwhelm.

This is a cycle that I am still working on changing.  I am learning to identify it quicker and reset.  And that is where I am headed this week, a reset.

Looking at really what it is I want to fill my plate, making sure it is in line with my priorities and I can make the time for it.  If I can't, then I am stepping away from it.  Maybe to come back to it later, maybe not.

It is easy to get caught up in all the pop up challenges, especially at the start of the year.  But we have to admit our limits and set boundaries.  Remember, that saying yes to something you are saying no to something.  Yet, the reverse is saying no to something, you can save room to say yes.

Keeping this all in harmony, but also not filling in every gap is essential.  We need rest, we need space, we need room to let the flow of activities have they room need.  And remembering to add in a little extra space before and after can release so much stress.

So what I am doing?

I began by doing a brain dump.  Everything that needs to get done this week and if it has a set date to be done stating that.  I am really looking at all the groups I signed up for.  I am asking: does it align with the direction God is calling me in? Does it fit with my priorities? Can I give it the time I need? Do I really want to do it?

Lastly, I am clearing out.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, creatively, socially clearing out.  Setting aside specific times for what I can, and filling in with the rest of the stuff (including white space).

It is time to tap back into my natural rhythm and flow.

Do you feel that funk right now?  Or maybe you have felt it recently.

What can you do to move out of it?  To release from it and free yourself?

It can be alluring to sign up for all these things, thinking that will fill us and are the right direction.  But it can also be holding us back or stopping us from our fullest potential by overdoing it.

Take the time to really set your priorities, align yourself with God, and then fill your space.

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