Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Are You Remembering to Take Care of Your Marriage?

So, do you put your marriage as a priority? Or is on the back-burner?

Do you keep things simmering throughout, day to day, year to year? Or has it been forgotten about?

I will admit, once we started to grow our family my focus shifted to a majority of the time the kids, letting my marriage sit by the wayside.

Sure, I realize that there are times, especially early on that kids require much more attention.  As they grow more independent, essentially your time opens up a bit more each season.

But even when the kids are little, marriage needs to be a priority.  I have learned so much about this over the past year.  Marriage has become priority 2 for me, followed closely after Faith. 

When you don't keep it a priority you risk many things.  Sometimes you may not see the affects of it until years down the road, other times things surface sooner.

There are many benefits to keeping your marriage a priority, no matter age your kids are, that far benefit more than you and your spouse.  They benefit your kids, the relationships around you, and more.

Yes, I understand priorities shift and need to be rearranged sometimes depending on what is happening.  Like, a kid is sick so most of the focus goes on them.  However, that doesn't need to stop you from giving your spouse a hug, quick snuggle, or kiss.  Knowing that once your kiddo is back to normal, priorities will shift again.

A great quote reminder is that the only constant thing is change.  Things are always changing.

There has to be a harmony in it all.  Too much focus in one area leads us astray over time if we are not careful.

So, where do you see your marriage at?

I know that when we begin to grow our family it does take time to readjust and some things get put off to the side.  The two things that get set off to the side most often are our marriage and taking the time to fill ourselves.

We need to fill ourselves in order to fill those around us.  Our marriage needs to be filled as well.  Putting it off to the side for too long leaves us lost, on rocky ground, filling ourselves with things that don't truly fill us.

Not only do we need to keep our marriage a priority for ourselves, but our kids need it too.  Seeing a loving, solid marriage gives them comfort and security.  It also builds up a foundation of how they should treat a marriage and their spouse.

In a healthy marriage, it is filling for both people.  But you have to put in the effort.  It takes time, energy, and work. 

It takes continually connection time, communication, adjusting, growing, learning, deepening, and of course love.  It also takes faith.  Putting God at the center of your marriage brings you closer, makes you stronger.  Gives you a solid base to build on and to come back to, together.  Prayer connects you with God and your spouse, intimacy connects you with God and your spouse, talking and listening connects you with God and your spouse.

Marriage is intertwining God, you, and your spouse.  Yes, we were given the blessing to grow our families.  But our marriage is a blessing, a gift that also needs continually focus.

As other friendships and other relationships or connections with people come and go, so do our kids.  One day they will grow up, become an adult, and venture out on their own.  One day those friendships and connections will change.  But God is constant and if you continually put your marriage a priority, your spouse will be constant as well.

It may seem simple, easy.  But thousands of things can pull us in every which way.  No matter what pulls you, always come back to reconnect with God and your marriage.

Every day, do a little something to keep things simmering.  Be intentional, be open, build your connection and communication, build your love and trust, deepen your intimacy.

What can you do today to make your marriage a priority?  What can you do each day to connect?  What can you do to keep things simmering?  What can you do to build and deepen your intimacy?

If you are putting your marriage a priority, share your answers to the questions about how and what you do.

I encourage you to sit down, take a moment to answer the questions and really look at your marriage.  Then, sit down with your spouse, talk and listen.  Set everything else aside, putting this into your primary focus.  See where this can lead.

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