Monday, February 24, 2020

When Parenting Gets Tough


Parenting is tough sometimes.  It is true it isn't always unicorns and rose either.

Before having kids of my own, I developed thoughts of how I would be as a parent.  The things I would do, wanted to do, wouldn't do, would change, etc.

I thought that being a teacher would make me a better parent and would create a better understanding when it came time to raise my own kids.  Now, I am realizing that while the traits I had while teaching can and do transfer over into parenting, really being a parent would make me a better teacher.

Deep down, I know that God gave me these two boys because he knew I could handle it, I am the right mom for them, and I can be a guide for them.  But days like today, I question.  I question my strength, my patience, my understanding, my role.

As outbursts happen, battles ensue, tempers flare and the frustrations seem to pile on it leaves me drained.  Nothing left and only want to pull away.  I break down, I burst out, I turn in.

Today was a day I wanted to wave the white flag.  I wanted to surrender, let it all go, be done.  Today I burst.  I burst in my words, my behavior, my attitude.  I had lost the patience I had when I was a teacher.  I had gotten stuck in the why this all the time and when will it change.

There needed to be a mindset shift and a heart change...in my kids and in me.  But what does that look like, what does it mean, how I, where do I begin?

I break down.  I let it out. I may have the words to put into prayer at the moment, but God knows, understands.

In letting my fingers type, out pours: God's grace and forgiveness fill my heart and let the holy spirit put into words what is needed to be said.  Fill our hearts with peace, fill our home with peace.

Yes, there are days I want to start over.  There are days when all I want to do is surrender and throw in the towel.

I do need to surrender, but I don't need to throw in the towel.  I need to release and refuel.

On the tough days of parenting, what do you do?  How do you feel?

On those really tough days, when you want to throw in the towel, how do you shift gears?

Today, I am using nap time to reset by praying and turning it over God, I am writing, letting tears flow if needed.

My in the moments may have not been my best or flattering, but I can change it.  I can let it go.  I can try again.

In your tough moments, you can try again too.

May God's grace and forgiveness fill my heart and let the holy spirit put into words what is needed to be said.  Fill our hearts with peace, fill our home with peace.

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