Friday, March 27, 2020

Thoughts and Mindshifts

I haven't put my fingers to the keys much for the past two weeks.  After March 16, I did a quick note in My Mama Side Musings Newsletter and even that went out later than usual.

Monday's I tend to blog write and Thursday's is time for the newsletter.  But this week has been all kinds of mixed up.

With everything going on, I have been shifting and re-shifting.  From normal routines, to appointments, to classes, and more.

Yes, I know we homeschool and yup, I have been a stay at home mom since this time 2013.  However, with each season we fall in to a rhythm and flow, the schedule builds around that.  But with all our normal Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday activities canceled a couple weeks ago and social distancing, and now with stay home orders that go into affect basically at 11:59 tonight, we (mainly I) needed to make some changes.  Granted we have already been staying home as much as we can, but coming to terms with this new normal has been adjustment.

Monday everything finally hit and hit hard.  No, none of us are sick.  In fact that is a blessing we have right now is that we have good health and well-being.  But it was Monday when I realized how much was canceled, ended, connections lost, and schedules shifting.

My plans for March and April were not what they are turning out to be.  So, Monday night after a good cry, I picked myself back up.  I recognized what I was feeling (grief, sadness, anxiety, frustration, confusion, uncertainty, and more) and accepted it.  I didn't keep it though.  I dug into why I was feeling those things and what I could do about it, if anything.

So as this week has gone on, I have been shifting.  I am shifting my mindset to I get to instead of why or when.  March was going to be a full month for us, and in some ways so was April.  But now things have been rearranged and cleared out.  Though not initially what I had hoped for or planned for, I am letting it go.

The weather is finally Spring like, which means we can be outside longer and go for walks.  Each morning this week we go for a walk.  Then once home we tackle what needs to get done for homeschooling and chores.  After that is done, we are filling our time with other things.  Mostly play, but now we have art kits that we picked up for the kids, we can do some projects we've been talking about, read more, play more.

We are embracing what we have and what we can do.  And this may look different in two weeks, or a month, or by Summer.  But for now, we are changing things up and taking hold of the good and spreading that where we can.

I felt like I had lost a lot of my connections when Bible Study Fellowship had to close.  My kiddos are blessed with getting to have their teachers send videos each week for the lessons that would have been taught.  So we can still take part in that.  We are getting creative and playing board games via Skype.  For me, I get to be in two of my friends groups as a coach/support person and will be using zoom in one of the groups to connect.  And if I find out what is going on for me for Bible Study Fellowship, I will get to reconnect with that group.

I felt sad and disappointed that all the activities being canceled for my kiddos.  However, a blessing, they were sad about it as well, but they have embraced the switch up and new rhythm.  Probably more easier than I have. 

In some ways things have changed, yet other things remain the same and the rest has been shifted.  Mondays and Tuesdays are still our focus days for math and reading.  We still have morning devotions and BSF readings.  The kids may not get to go to BSF, but BSF comes to us via weekly videos.  Weekends are now primarily home for the day, so it is outside as much as possible.  Our Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday look different and will continue to ebb and flow.  We go for walks after breakfast now which is good for all of us and I am enjoying starting the day this way as are the kids.  I am changing up how much time I spend on social media and refocusing how I connect.

Sometimes it takes a bit, sometimes we build up walls, but the moment that falls, we can pick ourselves up and move forward.  Changed and ready.  Sometimes we feel lighter, freer.  Sometimes we are more encouraged and motivated. 

That is what happened leading up to Monday.  And while I don't have stuff completely figured out, at the very least I am slowing down and readjusting.  This is all going to look different than anyone anticipated or expected.  But hopefully, it will open up to new ideas, growth, and more.  Even through this all, we can still be grateful, still laugh, still seek joy. 

I hope and pray that your health is good, that you can see the joy in moments throughout the day, and that you will remain brave as we move forward. 

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